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“Yaar, how many short films will you make?”

It has been a while since I first tasted blood, after having made ‘Ho Gaya Kalyan’, my first short film for our newly formed production house, Dark Horse. It has been about four months and I have clocked an average of making one short film per month. After HGK, I made ‘77 Rupees’, ‘Whose Pussy Is It Anyway?’, ‘Namak Issk Ka’ and I recently wrapped ‘Ghalib Kaun Hai?’. Over the last two years I have been friends with a bunch of filmi keedas and they seem to be slightly taken aback at the number of short films that I am making.

One question that I am being asked a lot these days is – “Yaar, how many short films will you make?” I don’t have an answer to that question and that leads me to me questioning myself the same. Why do I make short films in the first place? Do I have a rich dad to bankroll my silly fancies? Do I have a lot of time with nothing else to do? Or have I completely lost it? Some baffled-yet-well-wishing friends have started equating me with the Bhatts, for churning out film after film.

The whole idea of me shifting to Bombay from Bangalore was to make films. Till then I had watched a lot of films and cooked up a lot of my own to be convinced that all I want to do in life is either watch films or make films. Of late I have been doing much of the latter. Thanks to my new-found obsession, I have missed classics like Race 2, Table No 21, Inkaar and Mumbai Mirror. Just kidding. But I do regret missing The Greater Elephant. Sincere apologies to Mr Vaas…

One thing that has triggered this obsession is finding a team that for some inexplicable reason jumps at every script that I write as the next best thing to happen to cinema. (I will organize a screening of my short films for you to judge, but that’s beside the point) Another thing that helps is the easy access to a gawdawesome Canon 5D camera and a crew that knows how to work with it. An excited team, a bunch of friends who are actors who like the roles I write for them and some mad khalbali in the khopdi ki jhopdi.

I have been stealing from life as far as the story ideas are concerned and have been consistently stupid throughout my life to think about where the money for the next daru session will come from. As Om Prakash Makhija once said in a drunken stupor, “Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho toh saari kaaynat tumhe usse milaane li koshish mein lag jaati hai.” I think I should instruct my dil to chaaho either shit loads of money or Giselle Bundchen or preferably both. But I am a sulphate.

In the past few weeks, something really crazy happened. I happened to meet a white collar whore at a cafe who seemed to be interested in investing in short films. I thought he was speaking through his ass. “Saale ko coffee se hi chadh gayi lagta hai,” I told myself. But I was wrong, as the same guy introduced me to another moneybag, who said the same thing. I showed them the rough cuts of my short films and we seemed to be on the same page. I celebrated by going overboard on Old Monk only to realize that I was only left with the one-way auto fare for the next meeting.

A few more meetings happened and then the realization struck me that all the blokes that I had been meeting were bloody brokers. I was yet to meet The Party. For the larger good of the short and indie filmmakers who frequent this site, let me just tell you that there are a lot of these pimps who are waiting to cash in on your scripts et al. Keep your eyes and ears open, and you will find that Rolex-sporting bastard who is rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of meeting you.

Anyway, I met The Party finally and must say that the meeting was very nice and fruitful. Though I am yet to get any money from him or his touts, I am happy writing this blog, sitting at home waiting for the proverbial phone to ring. A huge hawaai firing to Arati Raval for her heartfelt blog & I must take this opportunity to tell her that her piece is being read extensively in the dingy bylanes of New MHADA (Malad) and many parts of Oshiwara and Goregaon where struggling actors of all shapes and sizes are trying to somehow eke out a living.

I must take this opportunity to inform y’all that if you have a script for a short or an indie film, please do share it with me. If we are equally excited about your idea, I could help you make it. If not, I could at least put you through to some people who are ready to take baby steps into the world of film production, by funding indies and short films. A humble suggestion to struggling actors – do as many short films that come your way. A humble suggestion to aspiring filmmakers – make as many short films that you can without filing bankruptcy.

When I did get to meet The Party, the only thing that worked for me is that I had some films to show. Good, bad or ugly, they were mine and I was proud to see the moneybag react to the films in the right way at the right time. Paison ka kya hai… aaj hai… kal nahin… so on and so forth!


P.S.: I leave you with the link of the teaser of my most ambitious short film till date – ‘Ghalib Kaun Hai?’ Do give me your feedback, we at Dark Horse Production would really appreciate it!

By: Magik
Posted: January 31, 2013, 10:38 pm


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